First, allow me to say, I LOVE the holidays. L.O.V.E. them. I love the traditions. I love the music. I love all the cookies and movies and lights. Hmmm, this is starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss thing so we'll just cut to the chase: I love Christmas.
Bella, on the other hand? Not so much.
Well, actually, she does love Christmas (See:
video evidence here). What she doesn't love is all the company the holidays bring. And well-meaning animal lovers who want to pet her.
Four years
Bella is almost 4 years old and the only people who can reliably pet her are me, my husband Jan and my mom. My sister and my youngest nephew are about 50/50 and my oldest 2 nephews have to wait for the rare occasion when Bella is worn-down-to-the-bone exhausted for a chance to sit quietly next to her and get a snuggle in. (See: only existing photographic evidence of such below.)
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This picture was almost 2 years in the making... |
Bella doesn't want to make toys er, friends...
It's nothing against you, really. Even Bella's trainers, vets and behaviorist aren't immune. One trainer,
that magical Sheila again, can usually coax Bella into a chin scratch but only when there's food involved. We are working with a few select friends and neighbors as well as her vets so
someone will be able to handle her in case of emergency.
I wish for her sake and yours that it was different and I know some will not believe me so, on behalf of Bella and all the other shy and fearful dogs out there, and for those who feel they
absolutely must pet the pretty dog's head, allow me to offer this advice:
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Over head = bad.
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Under chin = good. |
- Don't try to pet the pretty dog's head! It will not happen. She will still, on occasion, duck away from me and Jan if we approach her from above. She's much more comfortable with an under the chin approach.
- Pay attention to what she's telling you. Bella is very (very, very, very, very, very) communicative. She will tell you how she's feeling with her body language. If she's ducking her head, leaning back, moving away or just averting her eyes, she's telling you she'd rather you not try to pet her. Don't.
- If she approaches you to sniff, let her. She's assessing your risk to her. Offer her the back of your hand to sniff, a loosely closed hand is best. This is not the time to try and pet her!
- If she thinks you're not hearing the messages she's sending you with her body language, she will actually try to speak to you. (Did I mention she's very (very, very, very, very, very) communicative?) It's okay to listen to her. She's scared and she's doing her level best to tell you that, so go ahead and let her have the treat. Drop it on the floor and end the game. She won that round. It's okay, really.
- Finally, if the barking doesn't work, Bella will leave the room. Please, for the love of all that is holy, let her leave. Bella is a dog. She's a fearful dog. If you remove her option of flight, well, there's only so many options left, right?
As her owners, Jan and I take our responsibility very
(very, very, very, very, very) seriously. If we sense a situation getting out of control, we will leash her or remove her from the room. But we're trying to teach her that people = good things and we can't do that if every time company arrives, she gets thrown in another room.
Every person she meets in her life will teach her something. What do you want your lesson to be?
To all who enter our home, we want everyone to be comfortable, including our dog. To help us achieve that for Bella permanently someday, we're asking for you to help us by following these few simple rules.
To our friends and neighbors who are working with us to help Bella overcome her fear of people, thank you! It takes guts to offer a piece of food to a 60 lb barking dog.
To my family who didn't sign up for this, has put up with the crazy dog and done everything right every time, including sometimes just treating her like a normal dog, I love you all so much.
To strangers on the street, yes, I know my dog sounds like Cujo. You shouldn't get so close to an unfamiliar dog.
And to all our friends in the blogosphere, we here at Bringing up Bella would like to wish you the happiest of holidays and all good fortune in the New Year.
Best,
Les